Saturday, May 31, 2008

The R. Kelly Child Pornography Sentence (of the day)

"Whether or not Mr. DeRogatis harbors bias against pedophiles is neither here nor there."

Is Argus Greek for Stupid?

"My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it."
-- Hillary Clinton explaining her ongoing, but mathematically hopeless, campaign against Barack Obama to the Argus-Leader editorial board, May 23, 2008.

"Obama is justifiably credited as a powerful speaker, but Clinton holds her own easily. As those who have attended her South Dakota rallies can attest, she is quick on her feet and energetic. She frames her ideas clearly in speeches and answers questions with genuine directness."
-- Argus-Leader editorial board endorsing Hillary Clinton, May 30, 2008

Friday, May 30, 2008

"O" My Goodness!

In today's column in your Chicago Sun-Times, Sneed informs us that:
Both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have "body" people, who attend to immediate needs.

• • The women's room: Hillary's "body woman," who totes and dotes on her nibs, is Huma Abedin, 32, who is of Indian and Pakistani descent -- and is now being pursued romantically by a congressman.

Unfortunately, there is no indication of which Clinton staffer allowed their candidate to be photographed in front of this sign reading "Count Every Vote."

UPDATE: Link Repaired

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Harvey Herschel Korman, 1927 - 2008

UPDATE: Evanier remembers Harvey Korman.


From the Daily Herald:
A DuPage County state lawmaker was charged with drunken driving early Wednesday morning in Springfield.

State Rep. Bob Biggins, an Elmhurst Republican, was arrested and booked on a charge of driving under the influence of alcohol at roughly 1 a.m. Wednesday on the capital city's north side at North Eighth Street and North Grand Avenue.
Out drinking past midnight on a Tuesday... now that's good legislating.

McClellan to Media: We Play You Like a Fiddle

For years, folks like Eric Alterman and Media Matters have argued that the press routinely undermines the American electorate with its focus on "horse race" political coverage and by failing to exercise critical thinking.

But we no longer need to take the media critics word for it -- thanks to Scott McClellan, George W. Bush's former White House Press Secretary.

From "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception" as excerpted in the Wall Street Journal:
The permanent campaign also ensnares the media, who become complicit enablers of its polarizing effects. They emphasize conflict, controversy and negativity, focusing not on the real-world impact of policies and their larger, underlying truths but on the horse race aspects of politics – who's winning, who's losing, and why…

The press amplifies the talking points of one or both parties in its coverage, thereby spreading distortions, half-truths, and occasionally outright lies in an effort to seize the limelight and have something or someone to pick on. And by overemphasizing conflict and controversy and by reducing complex and important issues to convenient, black-and-white story lines and seven-second sound bites the media exacerbate the problem, thereby making it incredibly hard even for well-intentioned leaders to clarify and correct the misunderstandings and oversimplifications that dominate the political conversation.

Finally, it becomes much more difficult for the general public to decipher the more important truths amid all the conflict, controversy and negativity. For some partisans, that is fine because they believe they can maneuver better in such a highly politicized environment to accomplish their objectives.
When the fella who held the hoop says the press corps behaves like trained poodles, it's time for some journalistic soul-searching.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Let's not kill the karma, Let's not start a fight, It's not worth the drama, For a beautiful liar.

"It takes two to lie. One to lie, and one to listen." -- Homer Simpson.

Today's papers have excerpts from Scott "Don't Shoot the Messenger!" McClellan's new book "What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington's Culture of Deception." In addition to exonerating himself -- "I was just too dumb to know I was repeating obvious lies" -- Scotty reminds us that damn near everybody associated with George W. Bush is a liar.

Better bloggers than I will focus on McClellan's many, many lies in the service of the Bush administration. The best will focus on the deception inherent in the Bush Iraq invasion and the outing of a CIA agent. Others will turn their eyes to McClellan's recollection of Whitehouse confusion and carelessness in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

But I'm a petty little man, so I was drawn to McClellan's tale of self-deception regarding George W. Bush's years of cocaine abuse:
McClellan tracks Bush's penchant for self-deception back to an overheard incident on the campaign trail in 1999 when the then-governor was dogged by reports of possible cocaine use in his younger days.

The book recounts an evening in a hotel suite "somewhere in the Midwest." Bush was on the phone with a supporter and motioned for McClellan to have a seat.

"'The media won't let go of these ridiculous cocaine rumors,' I heard Bush say. 'You know, the truth is I honestly don't remember whether I tried it or not. We had some pretty wild parties back in the day, and I just don't remember.'"

"I remember thinking to myself, How can that be?" McClellan wrote. "How can someone simply not remember whether or not they used an illegal substance like cocaine? It didn't make a lot of sense."

Bush, according to McClellan, "isn't the kind of person to flat-out lie."

"So I think he meant what he said in that conversation about cocaine. It's the first time when I felt I was witnessing Bush convincing himself to believe something that probably was not true, and that, deep down, he knew was not true," McClellan wrote. "And his reason for doing so is fairly obvious -- political convenience."
Therein lies a lesson for all the young political operatives out there: If your candidate is willing to lie to himself about years of recreational drug use for political convenience, he is very likely willing to lie about national security for political convenience as well.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Required Reading for DuPage County

Birkett talks a different story when shoe's on the other foot

Tears of a Clown, Parts I & II

Part I by Smokey Robinson and The Miracles:
Well they're some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there's no one around
Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby
Part II by Jill Iscol on Huffington Post:
I am a Hillary supporter and along with millions of Democrats throughout our country, I have been outraged by how the media have treated her throughout this primary season. But what is most disturbing is how my Party has stood by and allowed the demeaning and dishonest attacks on Hillary to continue.

This is not the party I thought I belonged to. This is not the party that espouses fairness, justice and equality for all.
This hyperbolic outrage would entertaining -- the post is entitled "How Dare You!" -- if not for one lingering question: In November, will these Clinton dead-enders abandon our Democratic Party for their own Pity Party?

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Showing Their Cards at FOX News

And it will get worse before November.

A Woman Ahead of Her Time

"I’ve been around long enough. My husband did not wrap up the nomination in 1992 until he won the California primary somewhere in the middle of June, right? We all remember Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June in California. I don't understand it."
Hillary Clinton, May 23, 2008, explaining why she will not drop out of the Democratic primary.

"She is a monster, *** she is stooping to anything."
Samantha Power, March 7, 2008, resigned foreign-policy adviser to Barack Obama after making this remark about Hillary Clinton.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Answering the Musical Question

Is Barack Obama Muslim?

Assassin v. Pimp

The person I most want to hear from regarding Hillary Clinton's reference to RFK's assassination is David Shuster, the journalist who was pilloried by the Clinton campaign for this ill-considered statement on MSNBC:

Shuster apologized and was suspended for two weeks.

One hopes that the Clinton campaign will announce its suspension post haste.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Like Rain on Your Wedding Day

Sen. Hillary Clinton has stayed in the primary race -- even though she has no chance of regaining the lead -- based on the slim hope that Sen. Barack Obama would do or say something so revolting that the Democratic party would find him unelectable.

By once again raising the specter of assassination, Sen. Clinton has done exactly that:


Did You Get Your Invitation?

Click Image to Enlarge

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Crude and Rude Flashback

Associated Press, May 21, 2008:
Oil prices bolted to a new record above $132 a barrel Wednesday after the government reported that supplies of crude oil and gasoline fell unexpectedly last week.
New York Times, June 28, 2000:
Gov. George W. Bush of Texas said today that if he was president, he would bring down gasoline prices through sheer force of personality, by creating enough political good will with oil-producing nations that they would increase their supply of crude.

''I would work with our friends in OPEC to convince them to open up the spigot, to increase the supply,'' Mr. Bush, the presumptive Republican candidate for president, told reporters here today. ''Use the capital that my administration will earn, with the Kuwaitis or the Saudis, and convince them to open up the spigot.''
I'm not saying the oil men of the Bush administration aren't influencing "the spigot" -- I'm just not sure which way they're trying to turn it.

Houses of Cards

In January 1979, Iran's U.S.-backed monarch was driven from power by Islamic extremists. All U.S. military and material aid to Iran ultimately fell into the hands of an Islamic Republic under the command of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini.

Now, Israeli media has reported that the Bush administration is
considering a first-strike attack on Iran. Mr. Bush was clear in his NBC interview that his hostility towards Iran is due to concerns about the fundamentalist Islamic state obtaining enriched uranium -- "[O]ne thing is for certain – we need to prevent them from learning how to enrich uranium."

And speaking of enriched uranium and volatile, fundamentalist Islamic nations: The Bush White House announced that it had signed an agreement with Saudi Arabia's U.S.-backed monarch on nuclear cooperation that would clear the way for Saudi Arabia to receive enriched uranium.

The Bush White House's plan to deliver enriched uranium to the Saudis means either one of two things:
  • The Bush administration fully understands the fragility of Saudi Arabia's absolute monarchy -- but they also understand that supplying Saudi Arabia with the enriched uranium necessary for nuclear weapons would tie the hands of future administrations. Providing enriched uranium to the Saudi government ensures that the United States must do everything in its power to keep the House of Saud on the throne, lest a popular revolution result in a nuclear Islamic Republic.
That would certainly be quite a gift from George W. to the Saudi national security chief, Prince Bandar bin Sultan bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud, aka "Bandar Bush".

Wisdom for the 21st Century

"Machines that pollute are only half invented." -- John Shirley

Nazi Punks Fuck Off!

From Media Matters:
On the day it was announced that Sen. Ted Kennedy had been diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor, nationally syndicated radio host Michael Savage opened his show by interspersing audio of Kennedy singing "Ay Jalisco No Te Rajes" with clips of news reporters discussing Kennedy's diagnosis and audio from Kindergarten Cop in which Arnold Schwarzenegger's character says, "It's not a tumor."

Later, Savage played the Dead Kennedys song "California Über Alles" after stating: "The poor guy's been suffering for years, you know? Unfairly he's been accused of alcoholism, but we see now that it was something much more deep-seated. And so, to cut this out in some respect for Ted Kennedy, here's a tune coming at you from the Dead Kennedys. Go ahead and play it, please."

But remember: Daily Kos, MoveOn.Org and liberal bloggers are the hateful ones.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A friend with weed is a friend indeed! the real criminal, dad!

From your Chicago Sun-Times:
The son of DuPage County's top prosecutor and two other men were arrested for allegedly possessing marijuana and a smoking pipe over the weekend in Naperville.

Nicholas T. Birkett, the son of DuPage County State's Attorney Joe Birkett, has been cited for possession of drug paraphernalia and less than 30 grams of cannabis, Naperville police records show.

Birkett, 21, of Wheaton, was arrested Sunday in a Naperville apartment, records indicate.

Joe Birkett, a tireless prosecutor of drug-related crimes, said his son was "a guest in someone's home" and did not own or possess any of the alleged contraband in the apartment.

"I love my son dearly," Birkett said. "My family's the most important thing in the world to me, and we'll handle this as a family."
Illegal drug users should make a note: "I don't live here and that stuff ain't mine" is now a meritorious defense in DuPage County.

Birkett's office has not yet issued an official statement on the "Some older kids made me do it" defense, however.

Update - The Daily Herald reports the profoundly unsurprising news that "[a]ll three men denied ownership of the pipe and green leafy substance." Does this mean, i
n light of the senior Birkett's statement, that there will be no prosecutions until Birkett's office finds a patsy who will actually claim to own or possess the contraband?

Stay tuned.

And here is a tip for the other two fellows: When the office of the DuPage County State's Attorney offers a plea bargain of reduced charges in exchange for your making a statement that fully exonerates
young Mr. Birkett, remember to feign surprise.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

And Speaking of Rednecks...

A bitter, primitive male of rural extraction emailed me the following question:

What's the difference between a clever pygmy and Sen. Clinton?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Up Against the Wall Redneck Mothers Day!

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Ray Wylie Hubbard:
He was born in Oklahoma,
His wife's name's Betty Lou Thelma Liz
And he's not responsible for what he's doing
Cause his mother made him what he is.

And it's up against the wall Redneck Mother,
Mother, who has raised her son so well.
He's thirty-four and drinking in a honky tonk.
Just kicking hippies asses and raising hell.

Sure does like his Falstaff beer,
Likes to chase it down with that Wild Turkey liquor;
Drives a fifty-seven GMC pickup truck;
He's got a gun rack; "Goat ropers need love, too" sticker

And it's up against the wall Redneck Mother,
Mother, who has raised her son so well.
He's thirty-four and drinking in a honky tonk.
Just kicking hippies asses and raising hell.

M is for the mudflaps you give me for my pickup truck
O is for the Oil I put on my hair
T is for T-bird
H is for Haggard
E is for eggs, and
R is for REDNECK.

Up against the wall Redneck Mother,
Mother, who has raised her son so well.
He's thirty-four and drinking in a honky tonk.
Kicking hippies asses and raising hell.
God bless all our mothers, redneck and otherwise.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Obliterate = Atomic Death

"I want the Iranians to know that if I'm the president, we will attack Iran [if it attacked Israel]. In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them." -- Hillary Rodham Clinton, April 22, 2008

A glimpse of actual atomic obliteration of a civilian population.


Google returns "about 10,400" search results for the phrase "my secret blog".

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

In Politics 45 Years is an Eternity

If all goes as expected, Barack Obama will accept the nomination of the Democratic party at their convention on August 28... 45 years to the day after Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech.
It's Proof of the Divine or Apophenia.

Working Class Hero Has Lent Her Campaign Eleven and a Half Million Dollars

Mrs. Clinton better buy the next round of shots. From the Guardian(UK):
Hillary Clinton's struggle to keep her campaign alive is being made tougher by a drying up of donors, forcing her to lend herself $6.4m (£3.2m).

Her poor showing in Tuesday's primaries - losing badly in North Carolina and winning narrowly in Indiana - will make it even harder to attract donors for what many will regard as a doomed campaign.

She has been unable to compete with rival Barack Obama in terms of funding since last year and had to lend her campaign $5m in February. Although her campaign team claimed she raised $10m in 24 hours after winning Pennsylvania last month - sceptics are waiting to see the accounts - her campaign has been running with large debts. ***

Her campaign argues that her success in winning over working class voters in Ohio, Pennsylvania and now Indiana makes her a stronger candidate than Obama against McCain, even though Obama has won the majority of Democratic contests.

In Indiana, the strategy saw Clinton ditching her previous persona of wordly first lady and policy wonk to reinvent herself as a tough, beer-loving heroine of the working classes.

The populist appeal was the most determined effort to date by Clinton to solidify her support among working class white men following her victories in Ohio and Pennsylvania.
Maybe Mrs. Clinton will now try her hand at being a Guitar Hero.

Tuesday's Lesson: It's not that Clinton can't ever win... It's that she has ALREADY LOST.

An anonymous senior Clinton official:
Absent some sort of miracle on May 31st, it's going to be tough for us. *** We lost this thing in February. We're doing everything we can now . . . but it's just an uphill battle.
NBC's Tim Russert thinks they "lost this thing" last night:

Dems to Clinton: Turn Out the Lights... the Party's Over [You]

From the New York Times:
[Sen. Clinton's advisers] said they were likely to face new pleas even from some of their own supporters for her to quit the race. They said they expected fund-raising to become even harder now; one adviser said the campaign was essentially broke, and several others refused to say whether Mrs. Clinton had lent the campaign money from her personal account to keep it afloat.

The advisers said they were dispirited over the loss in North Carolina, after her campaign -- working off a shoestring budget as spending outpaces fund-raising -- decided to allocate millions of dollars, some key operatives and full days of the candidate and her husband there.
Norman Ornstein, of the American Enterprise Institute:
I have long viewed this in a simple way: two things matter, delegates and popular votes. If Obama wins both, he cannot be denied the nomination. If these numbers [early returns] hold up, he will erase her gains in Pennsylvania and have a near-insurmountable popular vote lead. That will do it, and I expect a stream of superdelegates to move to him in the coming week-plus.
And even her narrow victory in Indiana isn't likely to sway Democratic super-delegates:
Thirty-six percent of primary voters said that Clinton does not share their values. And yet, among that total, one out of every five (20 percent) nevertheless voted for her in the Indiana election. Moreover, of the 10 percent of Hoosiers who said "neither candidate" shared their values, 75 percent cast their ballots for Clinton.

These are not small numbers. By comparison, of the 33 percent of voters who said Sen. Barack Obama does not share their values, only seven percent cast their ballots in his favor. Basically, more people who don't relate to Clinton are, for one reason or another, still voting for her. These are not likely to be loyal supporters.

On a broader level, among the 17 percent of primary goers who said they would choose Sen. John McCain over Hillary Clinton in a hypothetical general election match-up, 41 percent of that group came from Clinton's own camp. In essence, roughly seven percent of Clinton support in Indiana (40 percent of 17 percent) said they would defect to the Republican should she end up the nominee.
It's time to go Mrs. Clinton.

And if you hurry, you may still have time to recover the credibility and goodwill that you've pawned.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Sisters Vote for Nun of the Above

Your Chicago Tribune reports that a dozen Indiana nuns were turned from their polling place because they didn't have state or federal photo IDs.
Indiana's photo ID law is the strictest in the country. The Republican-led effort was designed to combat ballot fraud, said supporters, who also have acknowledged that no case involving someone impersonating a voter at the polls has ever been prosecuted in Indiana. *** On April 28, the Supreme Court ruled 6 to 3 that the law did not violate the Constitution.
Congratulations to the Republican party for successfully disenfranchising nonogenarian nuns in their battle against a crime without actual criminals.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Kentucky Derby as Democratic Primary Metaphor

From Lynn Sweet of your Chicago Sun-Times:
Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-N.Y.) wanted Eight Belles to win the Kentucky Derby. The filly came in second, had leg fractures, was euthanized.
Clinton's supporters contend that the first-place horse can't win in November and that the number-two nag must be declared the winner.


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